Sunday, December 23, 2007

One Thing

Everything is one thing until one thing is one thing. Then everything is everything. Or as Lao Tzu puts it:

The Tao is nameless.
What can be named is not eternal.

The nameless is the beginning of heaven and earth.
The name is the mother of the ten thousand things.

“The Heavens” separates the universe from our world then “sky” cleaves from “earth”. The definition “tree” divides it from the earth from which it springs. “Wood” kills the tree and “Plank” carves it up.

This is the intellectual path by which the thing we are part of becomes the things we can use.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Face Lift

Friday I drove to WKU to drop in on my contact with WKU Finish. He wasn't in and I ended up speaking with Dean(name not title) Kahler, Vice President for Academic Affairs/Enrollment Management, who graciously accepted me barging in without an appointment. We reviewed my transcript. At the very bottom of the page was the F I received for the psychology class I failed to drop in time by the appropriate date. In '82 I thought little of it, I would just take the class the next semester and the F would be removed from my transcript. F... for failure., It was the perfect closing statement on the official record of by early experience. Irony can be so ironic. I will remove this mark from my past.
I feel like I am preparing for cosmetic surgery. I am going to pay thousands of dollars and invest a chunk of pain in an effort that will have dubious effect on the reality of my life. The hope is to heal the scar that has caused anguish and embarrassment and festered for a quarter of a century.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Starting

This morning I took the first step to finishing my bachelor's degree after a 25 year hiatus. I found program at Western Kentucky University designed just for this purpose. I was so excited this morning at prospect I could not keep from crying as I drove Ella to Playing School. I plan on posting about every new step along the way.
Rudi

Monday, November 12, 2007

Dancing

There is a difference between serious and solemn for which David Schnaufer provided a beautiful example. He taught here at Blair School of Music and was as serious about the making of music as anyone of our fantastically dedicated faculty. At the same time, he exuded an infectious joy that always left me smiling for hours after spending just a moment with him, except once.

His Office was across the hall from where the Blair String Quartet rehearses and he came out one day to discover Ella and me eaves dropping on one of their sessions. “Does she like the Music?” he asked. “She loves the music, but I had to tell her it wasn't dancing music” I replied. His whole demeanor changed and he squared up on me, like a fighter in a ring. “All music is for Dancing” He looked at me like a Baptist Preacher demanding a sinner to repent. After I nodded my acceptance his smile returned. He reached down patted Ella on the back,“Don't let him forget!”, turned and went his way down the hall.

David, I will never forget.

Friday, November 2, 2007

None

I have devoted my entire life to Art by learning, teaching, and creating. I will gladly lovingly devote my life's remainder. Having said this, I will say this:

Art has no purpose.
Art has no value.

Of these two things you will only find in art what you hope to find within yourself.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Overheard

My 4 year old could do that!
In addition to photography my 4 year old does several paintings or drawings every day. She makes up songs. She dances. She is a budding playwright, but what she would really like to do is direct. Since her life is not troubled by the four essentials in my aesthetic thesis her life consumes and exudes art. This will continue as long as there is some ease in her life and the bitter impoverished souls fail to convince her that creation is unworthy or wasteful.


"There can be no keener revelation of a society's soul than the way in which it treats its children."
Nelson Mandela

Friday, October 26, 2007

Instamatic

You may have noticed that all the links from my previous post are images on Flickr. On their welcome page under the title and header/image is the number of images that have been uploaded to this one photo sharing service in the last minute. Usually around 4000. Now say Flickr is wildly popular and 1/10th of one percent of all the pictures taken in the world are uploaded there. This would mean 5 billion 760 million photos are taken every day . Nearly one for every being on earth- every day. Click the blue the last minute link and you will see twenty of those 4000. These have value to someone. Someone picked up their camera, made a decision and set that small instant apart from everything else in the universe. Even my daughter Ella has gotten into the act.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

ART

I believe any Philosophy of art should be as broad as possible:

  1. Art is the creation or participation in an experience that does not directly serve the four essentials (shelter, security, sustenance, sex).

  2. Art is an intrinsic part of life as a human that only be controlled by some sort of tyranny, including definition, explanation, or criticism.

If you wonder what I mean by the Tyranny of Definition, I can guarantee the first part of my thesis of what art is would anger architects, martial artists, chefs and adult entertainers- all of whose efforts I value with varying levels of enthusiasm.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Intro To -

Universities deliver adequate training in the course of major study. Although I have never supported myself in the field for which I studied, what I learned there and how I learned it gave me an enormous advantage and nuanced understanding of the field in which I have prospered. The great opportunity lost at university is in the quality and approach of the numerous “intro to” elective classes that are part of general education. Many are taught by graduate students who seem to feel that if idiots would just stop signing up for these ridiculous classes financial aid would eliminate the requirement for this service and they could get back to finishing their thesis. One of my friends told the story of one such Physics offering in which the teacher began each days class with a demonstration of angular momentum. He sat in a swivel chair with a small weight in each out stretched hand while two volunteers spun him round. He would then draw his hands closer and closer forcing the chair to turn faster and faster. This ended only after he was dizzy enough to loose his balance and crash to the floor.

There were several elective classes that were designed specifically for art students. One was “Light Color and Vision”. This was the only class I had in college that directly related to my eventual career as a theatrical lighting designer. It was taught by a very serious middle aged man that took this mission seriously. He treated the long haired scruffy tie dyed reeking of last night's party assemblage of disaffected young artists with patience doubled by the subtle gravitas he gave the subject.

And then there was Aesthetics.

I am sure the responsibility for teaching us was distasteful for someone that had devoted his life to the logic and method of philosophy. Perhaps he had lost a bet. Perhaps he could not remember the names of the department head's children. He was not happy. He made it quite clear that none of us would ever be able to understand anything that he was talking about. We were not worthy of understanding. We would not profit by attending. We debased the intellectual pursuit that he was proud of. Or so it seemed to many of us at the time

Three years later, I had latched on to a keep your rent paid JoeJob on a state highway department as a member of a survey team. Apparently they felt the same about my sense of irony that the people of my home town and soon I had been exiled to a concrete plant, by myself, running a slump test every 2 hours and not asking too many questions about the 100 year old black man that wore plaid suits with a check pork pie hat. There was a snub nose thirty eight visible on his belt and he wrote the men's numbers down on small pieces of plain paper five days a week. I had a lot of time on my hands and I felt it best to look like I wasn't paying attention to many other things I saw happening there. So I brought all the text books I had been unable to sell back to the bookstore. This kept the conversation that kept followed what'ya readin' to a minimum and somehow softened the sting of the student loans by offering some proof of the value of my shortened college education if by no other evidence but mass.

One of them was John Hosper's anthology on aesthetics- the text book used in our class. It seemed like I was reading it for the first time. This was not crap. Some of it was even interesting. Some of it was actually moving. None of it had any chance of burning through the haze of ten hours a day in a studio. But I had been away from that womb for two years and the distance could now find a companion in the separation of the experience of what art is and the study of what it can be. I had not been the victim of condescending professor. He was teaching an introduction to an esoteric branch of a greater discipline. I was on fire. He was discussing thermodynamics. Any philosophy that is not born of and borne through, the act of living is irrelevant to those in the fully immersed in act of it's everyday creation.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

one thing


Memory objects as Jewels:
Rowena and I had spent several evenings together. One night when I dropped her off at her home, we said our goodbyes in our obfuscatory friendly way. I was getting ready to start my Truck when the passenger door opened. In one seamless motion she leaned in across the seat and kissed me "full upon the lips". Her gaze holding me captive as she withdrew, closing the door again.
I can hold this moment. It keeps me connected to everything her and I have been.

It depends on your definition of the word “IS “

One positive outcome of seeing my consciousness as an object is the place events in my life have taken as a things that exist. They are objects, that have permanence. The sense of the passage of time within the experience is only a way our biology facilitates understanding the potential within our existence.


Wednesday, May 30, 2007

value added

Making such a grand and sweeping statement about the value of my consciousness begs the question...who gives a rats ass?? What difference does it make in the way I live? Does it make my life easier... happier? Does it bring me closer to those around me? What has Rene' Descartes done for me lately? The fact that I cannot doubt my own existence is little comfort if I doubt the love of those I cherish.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Value

"What a piece of work is man! How noble in reason! how infinite in faculties! in form and moving, how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension, how like a god! the beauty of the world! the paragon of animals! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust?"
"Hamlet, Act 2 scene 2"

Or in other words "My Internal Dialog". And many others or Shakespeare's words would not be resonating centuries later. Unsaid in this however is that our view of humanity is our view of our selves. The glory and wonder of our existence is our hope for ourselves. Bleak and wretched is our fear of our selves. The ebbing and flowing tide of the evaluation is the power that drives us into many of our life's bitter battles. The search for God. Our preening quest for the desire of others. The need to have the people we share this time with acknowledge the uniqueness and correctness of our thoughts.
I think the question "Does My life and all of the experiences the make it's composition have any value, any meaning?" is a simple one. If all silk in the east were yours or all the gold of the Aztecs fell into your hands; the only thing you will ever really touch is the texture of your own thoughts. The object that represents the entirety of your experience is the singularity of existence. Anything of which there is only one of has infinite value.